


Reluctant Heroes

by yminnie



Series: Tear my heart out Ereri [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Captain!levi, Death, Gen, Kissing, Love, M/M, Memories, Prequel, Real Time, Titans, attack on titan - Freeform, dead!levi, dying, ereri, riren - Freeform, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, whosscreamingsoloud
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4659438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yminnie/pseuds/yminnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of prequel to 'Who's Screaming So Loud?' Just from Levi's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reluctant Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to do another one of these things, so I hope you enjoy it.  
> Leave a kudos or review, everything is appreciated.  
> On a side note, you do not have to have read WSSL to understand this story, they can both stand on their own, but it would be best if you read them both.

“Come on, Eren. We have to go.”

He remains seated, making no move to follow after me. I turn back walk over to him and kneel down, lifting his chin with my hand so he looks at me.

“What’s wrong?”

He stares at me, his eyes hiding something that I can’t quite make out. “I don’t think we should go out today.”

His words catch me off guard, but I remain composed. “Why?”

“I don’t know I just have a weird feeling,” He puts his head in his hands so I can no longer see his eyes.

“Eren, we have to go, we have no choice. No one else is going to do our job for us,” I pull him to his feet. “And besides, it’s not like we have a choice, Erwin will kick both our arses if we don’t hurry.” I pull him along, as he shuffles his feet behind me.

I turn my head to look back at him, managing a small smile. “It’s just a routine expedition, nothing will go wrong.”

He looks up, and though he nods, his eyes tell me more.

~~.~~

Of course he had to go off on his own. Always desperate to play the hero, always desperate to prove himself to everyone.

**Cowards should not try to play hero.**

I’d told them all over and over again, stick with the group, memorize the formation. But he had to disobey, had to show everyone just how brave he is.

**There’s always one.**

And now look what’s happened, no one can even see his bravery because he screwed up. Got himself thrown from his horse out in the open, there are no trees around for miles so his 3DMG gear is absolutely useless.

What an idiot.

He’s going to die.

I’ve never concerned myself all that much with the lower soldiers, better to only learn their names and sometimes I don’t even bother to do that. Chances are they’ll all be dead within the month. Better to save myself the trouble.

And that’s why it’s so surprising that I’m now wrenching the reins to the side and squeezing my legs around the sides of my horse to get to him. He’s just standing there looking around as if he can’t fathom what just happened.

“Move you idiot!” I yell my voice harsh and commanding as I charge towards him. The fool didn’t even notice the titan running towards him. “Get back to the group!”

He stares at me nodding as I rush past him towards the foul thing. I know what to do; I’ve done it so many times before it’s practically second nature. Something I can do without even having to think.

And so I don’t.

I don’t think as I charge straight towards the titan that surely would have killed Jean had I not intervened. I assume he’s back with the group now, hopefully getting the shit kicked out of him by Erwin like he deserves. I approach the towering titan, a fifteen meter with limbs disproportionate to its body. Its unnaturally stretched grin sends a chill through my entire body; I want nothing more than to kill the hideous thing.

I use my 3DMG and aim for behind the titan as I circle around on the horse avoiding the flailing of its arms and hands as it tries to grab me. I wrap around it, landing on the back of its head and waste no time in angling my sword and spinning, slicing the nape of its neck clean open.

**This is too easy.**

I land on its back as its body crashes to the ground, steam billowing around us. I hear the sound of horse hooves running quickly across the hard ground as the expedition team powers towards me. I turn my head quickly looking behind me as the sound of feet slapping against the ground reaches my ears. My heart rate quickens as I spot a seven meter and another fifteen meter closing the distance between us through the veil of the steam. I shift my body so I stand facing them head on; as they get closer I use the gear to slip through the space between them, getting ready to attack from behind again. I’m in the air about to deliver a lethal blow to the nape of the fifteen meter when a flash of brown and white catches my eye. Suspended in mid-air I watch as fucking Jean Kirstein sails towards the seven meter, poised for a front on attack.

What an idiot.

Did his training teach him nothing?

“Don’t worry Captain Levi, I’ve got this one,” He shouts towards me, his voice filled with complete confidence.

“Kirstein you idiot, get out of here!” My voice bellows into the air between us. He stares up at me, taking his eyes off the titan for a second, only a second. I can feel my eyes widening in horror as the titans hand begins to descend towards him.

“Jean watch out!” My voice reaches him just as the titan’s hand wraps around him, leaving him with no way to escape. A painful cry leaves his lips as the hand around him begins to tighten. I change my course directing myself at the seven meter’s wrist; I fly past slicing everywhere I can reach. Its wrist, its arm, its fingers. Anywhere I can to force it to release Jean.

Steam rises from it as the damn thing immediately begins to regenerate, I give one more slice to its wrist, which is now cut at least half way through, and its hand opens releasing Jean. I watch as he falls to the ground curled in on himself in pain. I let out a small sigh of relief that it worked, I assume someone will help him soon; I have to focus on killing these things. I stare through the steam trying to determine my next move when a large hand reaches out, grabbing me in its palm. I let out a curse as it begins lifting me towards its face. Its large mouth begins to open and the stink of decay and death invades my nostrils, making me gag. I try turning my body, doing anything that will allow me the smallest means of escape but there is nothing, no one is close enough.

**There’s no one to help me.**

This honestly isn’t the way I thought I’d go out. Of course I expected to be killed by a titan eventually, but to be killed by a titan trying to save a lowly comrade who I’m not even sure is still alive wasn’t what I had envisioned. Though even though I’ve accepted my fate I’m not about to make it easy for this creature. I continue to twist and kick all the while knowing that it’s useless, I wouldn’t go down without a fight, no matter how small.

I know it’s over when I feel the skin of my stomach being torn apart, my muscles tearing as if they were nothing, held no resistance. And I cry out a name that feels so familiar on my lips as the pain becomes almost enough to completely obscure my vision, but I stay conscious, knowing that if I can’t do anything else, I can try and do that. I keep my eyes open even though I can’t see a thing and then I’m falling and someone is screaming my name. And it’s him I know it is.

He’s come to save me.

~~.~~

“Cadets I’m Erwin Smith, the Commander of this unit. I’d like you to meet Captain Levi; he will be in charge of you from now on. You will obey his orders without question, is that understood?” I almost scoff at the commanding tone of Erwin’s voice. As if the cadets aren’t scared enough, he has to make then scared of their commanders of humans to.

I glance over at him to find him staring at me, waiting for me to do something. I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Well introduce yourself.”

My scowl deepens as I stare out across the group stupid enough to join this regimen. Most of them were ranked in the top ten and it’s surprising that they had chosen the scouts as opposed to the Military Police of even the Garrison. I shift my cold gaze to each of them giving them a once over before they fall onto the bright teal eyes of a boy, whose face holds so much determination that would be almost frightening if it didn’t look so childish. I let out a small laugh as I stare over the top of their heads.

“I’m Levi,” Short and sweet. Perfect.

They all stare at me as if waiting for more but I give them nothing, instead I wait quietly for Erwin to continue.

“Okay, you’re dismissed,” Erwin’s voice rings out across the cadets and they all shuffle immediately towards the dining hall.

All except one, who lingers as I descend the stairs.

“Captain Levi,” This kid is too intense.

I give him a hard stare, hoping he’ll just walk away with his friends. He doesn’t.

He looks at me expectantly as if waiting for me to reply. I let out a sigh, “What?”

He gives me a bright smile, what is wrong with this kid?

“I just wanted to say how happy I am to be under you, -,” His eyes widen as he covers his mouth with his hands quickly, before they drop from his face. “Oh my god, I didn’t mean under you. Well I mean yeah I did, but not in that sense. I just meant well you know, ah-.”

His rambling is infuriating. “Just spit it out kid.” I snap.

He composes himself before letting out a long breath, “What I wanted to say was,” His bright smile returns to his face. “I’m thrilled to have you as my captain.”

My eyes widen slightly at his words, I was not expecting that from the kid. And yet why should I care about his words no matter how sincere they sound, he’ll probably be dead soon anyway. So I just give him my indifferent stare and walk past him into the dining hall.

Somehow I can feel his stupid grin as I walk away.

 

~~.~~

“Eren you can’t be in here,” I say, looking towards the door he’d just shut quietly behind him.

“Why not, Captain?” His tone is too innocent for someone who knows exactly what they’re doing.

I watch him as he moves from the door towards my desk, every step filled with purpose.

“Are you trying to get us caught?” I ask him, though his actions make it obvious. “You have no idea what that would mean, kid.”

He’s standing in front of my desk now, leaning against it as he glances through the piles of paper on my desk. He doesn’t look at me again until he’s rounding the side of the desk and pulling my chair and me out to face him.

“I don’t care,” He whispers, sending a shiver down my spine. I cover it up by straightening myself in the chair.

I look back into his eyes, they still hold some of the brightness they did the first day I’d met him, but it’s gradually diming every day. Every day we spend still in the dark about the titans and everything that the outside world contains. And even after we all discovered his titan shifting ability, though there was new hope for mankind, for us, it still wasn’t enough.

Everything I could say doesn’t seem good enough so I settle for, “What are you doing here, Eren?”

He blinks, breaking himself out of the trance my eyes captured him in as a small smile touches his lips. I have no time to react before he’s straddling my waist, staring at my thin lips as he licks his own. He glances at me once, as if asking if it’s okay and finding no argument from me, brings his lips down to mine.

His lips are slightly dry and cracking but I don’t pull back, he places his hands on my shoulders carefully, as if he’s afraid I’ll reject them. As if I could pull away from him now. I let him know by placing my own hands on his waist, pulling him closer against me and opening my mouth slightly. He takes the cue and moves his hands up into my hair, running them through the dark strands. He pulls slightly making me gasp as he slides his tongue against my own.

It doesn’t last long and a minute later we’re both pulling away breathing deeply as we regain our breaths.

And it’s there, in his bright eyes as he stares at me, the words that both of us desperately want to say but cannot seem to find the right way to say them. It’s there, his whole face shows nothing else as he opens his mouth, but the words catch in his throat and never make it out.

~~.~~

“Eren, what the fuck is this?” I yell at him, though he’s standing right beside me.

He flinches back as if I’d slapped him; he’d not been expecting my reaction. But god it was awful.

“Ah, tea?” He answers, his tone questioning his very words.

I look down my cup, eyeing the offensive liquid it holds. “This is tea?”

I look back up at him to find him nodding his head slowly. “In all honesty I’ve never actually made it before, but I mean it looked pretty simple.”

I look between him and my cup, trying to fathom what he had just made me drink. “It’s cold Eren.”

His eyes widen in horror, “I swear I put hot water in it.”

“And bitter. How long did you infuse it for?” How could making up a cup of black tea go so wrong?

He looks up to the left as if thinking, “Ah, like ten minutes.”

I laugh, I can’t help it this kid is too much. I grab my stomach and laugh right in his face. Once I fully compose myself I look back up at him.

“Was it really that bad?” He asks, sitting in the chair across from me.

“Oh kid, do me a favour and never do this again. I think you’ve scarred me for life,” I respond, letting out another chuckle.

He reaches quickly for the cup bringing it to his lips. “Oh come on, it can’t be that bad.”

I shrug, allowing him to try it. He takes a large gulp before his eyes widen into orbs as he looks like he’s about to spit it out. I give him a stern glare.

“If you spit that out, I’m never speaking to you again.”

He stares at me for a second pleading, before he gives up and swallows the vile substance. He wipes his mouth with his sleeve, making me cringe in disgust; there are napkins on the table.

“Wow, that’s disgusting,” His words contradict the grin spreading across his face.

And it was in this moment that I realise I love him.

Yet the words never leave my mouth.

~~.~~

My eyes open; I lift my left arm up slowly, my right one doesn’t want to move. I turn my head slightly to assess what damage has been done only to see it red and twisted into an impossible angle, yet I feel no pain.

Damn that Jean Kirstein, always having to try and prove himself to everyone. Everything would have been fine if he just went back to the group like I told him to. And now look what’s happened.

Why did I have to choose now to go against everything I believed in? Why now when I have everything to lose? Why now when I have him?

“Oh god, Eren,” The words come out broken and barely above a whisper.

I never asked for any of this. Not this life, not to join the scouts, not to meet him. The stupid looking fool who was either yelling about killing titans or walking around with that stupid grin on his face. And his eyes, ugh, those stupid eyes that were so bright, so alive that I watched dim over the time that I’d known him. He has to keep that light, but I know in the back of my mind in a place I never want to delve that he won’t. He won’t be able to hold onto it, not after this.

I can’t leave him, not like this. I’m not ready for this.

This whole situation is too fucking cruel that I almost laugh, and I would if not for the blood rising in my throat gagging me.

What’s Eren going to think, I can hear him screaming somewhere through the thick haze that’s beginning to invade my mind. I hope he’ll be alright if I’m not there to look out for him, to keep him in check. He should be fine; he’s got his friends with him after all.

Eren, I hope you can forgive me.

I’m so sorry.

As my eyes finally close I say his name one more time, knowing that he’s further away from me than he’s ever been.

“Eren.”

 


End file.
